Emil Athletic’s board of directors quietly celebrated the news that their club is no longer the single worst team in Europe, sources close to the club told us. The directors rented a zeppelin with a hanging pagoda, and hired a stripper to jump out of a cake decorated with 71 candles while drinking champagne from ceramic moulds of donkey’s hooves.
According to the newest rankings, Emil AC are tied for 71st place (of 72 places) with fellow Division 2 whipping-boys ADO Den Haag. D2 compatriots Toulouse, Heracles Almelo and RKC Waalwijk join them in the bottom 10.
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